It took me two years after I had my son to start ‘feeling like myself’ again (whatever that means) but it’s taken another year to realize that I no longer identify with that women. It’s cliche but becoming a mother changes you, not sure if it’s for the better or the worse, but it in fact makes you a different person. Once I was finally able to peak my head above water and start seeing glimpses of my old self, I felt like a lot of my things didn’t fit me anymore, and I’m not talking just physically.
Before having Elizabeth and Jackson, which encompassed 3 years of pregnancies, death, grief, depression and entering motherhood, I was on auto pilot with my personal style. I felt confident in my closet and sure of the outfit formulas I’d come accustomed to. I had so much more time to focus on clothes (that could be a curse and a blessing) but I wasn’t truly diving deep into my ever-changing likes/dislikes. I would say that even back in 2018 I needed to reevaluate my style. Then I got pregnant with Elizabeth in 2018 and fast-forward to today, finally ready to re-evaluate my style.
The unique opportunity becoming a mother has on our personal style comes down to the fact that most of our clothes no longer fit us and/or our lifestyle. A line has been drawn in the sand, and you have to come to terms with what to hold on to and what to let go of. I have a feeling I might not be the only person in this boat. No longer drowning, but treading in the sea of motherhood, desperate to reclaim something of an identity, but not knowing what that identity is.
I’ve drawn up a map, a list of guidelines if you will, of where I’m starting. I’m excited and nervous, change is always a little scary, and thought you might want to follow along. This is what I have so far…
-Consuming Less. This includes not just things but content. I’m looking at you Instagram. One of the things that makes finding personal style harder today is the over-abundance of options/opinions.
-Pause before you buy. I’m not against buying things especially when it brings you joy and lights you up, BUT I hold fast to a 48-hour rule. When making a purchase give it some time, if it’s something you can’t stop thinking about and have concocted all the ways it will fit into your wardrobe than do it. If you forgot about it, on to the next.
-Listen to your gut. Follow the pings, the hits of inspiration that lead you to read a certain book, go check out that event, take that class, visit that park, listen to that album, cook that meal, research that city…just listen! Your soul is leading you to the things that will light you up and in there you will find yourself and your style.
-Letting go. Editing out the things you no longer love is hard, sometimes very hard. But in order to make space for the new things in your life you have to well…make space. My trick here is to do it a little at a time and allow yourself a grace period. I keep things I think I want to get rid of under my bed or tucked away in a closet for 3-6 months. If I never think about it after that time period I get rid of it.
-Accessories First. I’m an accessories gal through and through. Accessories are the best place to start when you’re stuck. They add so much bang for your buck, and truly make style personal, if you ask me. There is only so much that clothes can do, accessories add that touch that no one else can.
Wow, I’m feeling motivated to dive deeper into this new style journey and see where it will take me…us! Until next week, may you find joy in the small stuff, like getting dressed.
jodi xx